RUTH CORNWALL
"My life began in Cornwall, England as the third child in a family of four. My father was English and my mother American. At that time, in the mid forties, the most alive churches in Cornwall were Brethren. I remember as a child our lives revolved around 'meetings' and there were many each week. When I was very small I realised one had to have an answer for the little old men who frequently asked, 'Little girl are you saved'? so I made up a great answer, 'Oh yes, August the 13th when I was four'. That seemed to keep them happy and I was relieved. I was ten when I had a very sudden and unexpected encounter with my need to open my heart to Jesus. I was at home with bronchitis and after breakfast downstairs, Mummy having read the Bible to me, sent me back up to bed. Suddenly I was aware of my need to ask Jesus to save me and started crying loudly with distress. My mother came running up the stairs thinking I'd had an accident. 'I want to be saved Mummy, help me'. We knelt by the bed and I asked Jesus to come in, and peace came.
"As I grew up I continued to grow as a Christian but had a very fearful relationship with God. God the Father seemed very stern and hard to please. Our guide book was the Bible but I was not aware the Lord wanted to know me and talk to me. At 18 I left home for Teacher Training College and I remember thinking that this was my chance to see if my faith was real or if the other girls at College had something better than I did. A good hard look and listen to my new friends soon showed me the Christian life was the right track for me, so I made my friends with the Christians and got on with life.
"If someone asked me to sum up what my life has been about , my answer would be, 'learning to love!'. I met a 19 year old young man when I was 17.5 years. He was new to our town, having moved to Cornwall with his mother and siblings. Sadly his father, a test pilot, was killed during an air display in Northern Ireland. We began dating while attending the same youth group and after finishing school he went on to train as a mining engineer. We saw a lot of each other and became engaged when I was 19 and planned to be married in the summer when I finished my teacher training. At Easter just before the wedding I was home for the holidays visiting my family. It was exactly 13 weeks till the big day and I was having very serious fears about getting married. I remember watching my parents and thinking, hmmm we don't love like they do!. I decided to call it off. My parents were shocked but supportive. Although my fiancé was brokenhearted, I felt I had done the right thing and was at peace.
"I went back to college for the last term and one day at lunch my friend and I started to talk to some girls who seemed very excited about their faith. We questioned them and they said they'd been filled with the Holy Spirit. They told us there was a curate at their church who would pray for us if we were keen. Well I had to think very hard about taking such a step. The Brethren taught that the gifts of the Spirit died out with the Apostles and Dad said emphatically that speaking in tongues was of the devil. However I was desperate for something more so we made a time and went to see the Reverend. The day I was Baptised in the Holy Spirit my Christian life radically changed. The Bible came alive to me, and I found myself hungry to discover what true Christianity should look like. As a result of this new life, the Lord began revealing the condition of my heart and a deep work of healing slowly began to unfold.
"In 1970 I moved to the East End of London to teach at a local Primary school. It was during the August of that year I had a very vivid dream. I dreamt that my ex fiancé and I were together and we were so happy. I woke and remember saying 'Lord I thought it was right that I broke off our engagement. Please will you take him off my back or if you want me to tell him my story please bring him here so I can tell him'. (My ex was working in Holland at the time). Just two weeks later, and to my complete surprise, he knocked on the door of the vicarage right where I was meeting with the vicar. Three days later I prayed for him to be Baptised in the Holy Spirit and we were married exactly 13 weeks later.
"As a young bride, my head was full of romantic dreams. I somehow believed the wedding ceremony changed everything and my Prince Charming would emerge and we'd live happily ever after. Not so! We were very raw material for marriage unfortunately. I'm afraid I became very controlling trying to tell him how I wanted him to behave and strangely he didn't like it! Thus began the early rocky road of our marriage. Sometimes we were fine but other times a deep terrible hatred would rise up in me. I was so ashamed, but didn't seem to be able to control it. I remember going up for prayer every time there was an altar call and longing for a miracle. Over the years we had four children, lived in many places, England then Africa and then New Zealand.
"In the late 90s I attended a Christian course in Auckland. and there found so many answers and so much healing. Our leader in one of our small group retreats was a lovely Maori lady who I felt very comfortable with. She asked us to share our deepest needs. I confessed to, on one hand loving my husband, and on the other hand absolutely hating him. Our leader looked at me, 'I know what this is', she said 'This is a generational witchcraft spirit of the hatred of men. The Lord is going to set you free'. She prayed for me and I went home with a new heart. I remember my husband saying to me, 'something's changed'. As the days went by I had a new peace and knew that I was free.
"That was over 25 years ago and so much has happened since then. We've seen our children grow up, marry and have families and of course we've had lots of great challenges and heart aches. We've experienced more and more the faithful, endless love of the Father training us, teaching us His ways and at times breaking us. I have been blessed with a faithful, loving husband who has stood by me through it all. And I have a Heavenly Father who whispers to me heart, "I have loved you with an everlasting love, therefore with loving kindness have I drawn you'. (Jeremiah 31:3) That verse is so true for me. I also treasure the promise that God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit. As I reflect on those words I realise that even though my heart has at times been broken, His love leaks out, touching others and allowing us all to experience His amazing healing".