PAT BUCKLEY
“I was hanging out with a group of mates 10 -12 years older than me injecting drugs. My mate asked me if I wanted to try some? I pulled up my sleeve foolishly thinking once would be enough, and by the end of that week I was plunged into a world of addiction and a nightmare I couldn't get out of".
Pat Buckley's story begins in East Auckland with a serious accident at the age of 2, when he accidentally pulled a pot of boiling water off the stove. The heat of the water resulted in third degree burns over his arms and hip. He spent a month in hospital often alone as his Mother returned to the family home to care for his siblings living with an alcoholic father. The disfigurement caused years of embarrassment, bullying and Pat felt alone in his struggles. He "then had to go home and face his Fathers aggression, anger and hostility". One day when Pat was 8 years old, his Father decided to walk away from his wife and family. Pat describes this "as a choice that devastated him. The one person who should have been there to love me and guide me made a choice that nearly destroyed me. My Mother was broken and empty but I witnessed the Lord transform her life". My 2 brothers gave their lives to Jesus but I was so damaged I went 'head first into drugs and alcohol'. The kids I began to hang out with weren't cool at all, they were empty and broken just like me. My first joint was quickly followed by pills, LSD and alcohol, leading me to injecting drugs. "I was caught in a nightmare I couldn't get out of".
For the next 16 years my addictions escalated and I spent brief periods of time in mental institutions under lock and key. "My Mum had to get smart and cunning if she was going to help her son live through this. She couldn't be with me in the fast cars, parties and places of danger, but she could effect the environment around me through spiritual warfare, prayer and intercessory prayer". Pat laughingly recalls "my Mother was so cunning, when I slept she would anoint my head with oil so when I woke I wondered why my hair was so oily. She would anoint my shoes so when I walked down the road my feet would be squeaking. She sewed scripture verses into my clothing and I wondered who John 3 16 was!" My spiral continued and in 1995 I overdosed 3 times in a month on opiates. During my first overdose and in those last moments known as the death rattle, my Mum and brother prayed from afar warring in the spirit over my life, and God intervened and saved me. At a friend' s I overdosed a 3rd time. I didn't breath for 25 minutes. My friend desperately trying to resuscitate me on the kitchen floor. As an ambulance rolled into the driveway I just stood up. In that moment I heard the audible voice of God call me by name and say this "Pat, I love you son, but unless you surrender your life to Jesus you will be dead in 3 weeks". When the Creator of life speaks, you listen! I knew with every cell of my being God was trying to reach out of His world and into mine. Love never forces anything it gives a choice. Chose this day, life or death, I put it before you. When you hit rock bottom there's only one place to look and that's up. I knew the Lord was offering me a choice and I needed to make a decision between life and death. Thankfully I chose life. In the last 30 years, more than 70 of my friends have passed away. People I knew, and cared about are dead from drugs, suicide, murder, alcohol or addiction. Lives gone, lost and stolen. People I loved.
Rebuilding my life took years. Choices, people, beliefs, behaviours. Creating new thinking pathways and associations. The Lord asked me to enrol in a bible college and I began a 2 year course, which took me 4.5 years with bad behaviour. The Lord invested His spirit into me and prepared me for a new life ahead. Several years later after marrying and raising a family, I sat one day with my twin brother and our wives and asked God, how we could use all those negative experiences for good? God answered me "Pat, what's in your hand"? All I had was my addiction, my pain, my brokeness and all that came with it. All that Satan meant for evil the Lord was going to redeem and utilise for good. A month later we formed Amped4life a ministry where our heart is to empower young people to create a better future for themselves by making better choices through education, sport, whanuau, culture, setting a new path, a positive direction not only for themselves but future generations. Amped4life continues to reach out to young people through schools and communities nationwide in a fight against drug, alcohol abuse and addiction.
My faith has been integral in my recovery. Jesus says 'without me you can do nothing.' I tried in my own strength for years to save myself and I couldn't. Finally I surrendered my life to Jesus and said I can't, but I know you can. Words on a page couldn't change me only a relationship with a living God. Vital tools to my recovery were reconnecting to family I had hurt. Also forgiveness. I went to my Dad, looked him in the eyes and said "Dad I forgive you". He responded with "why would you"? Pat said "because I chose to".
"Heaven is filled with screwed up people like you and me. Thank God for that".