CONTENT WARNING: References to drugs, alcohol, sex and suicide may disturb some readers.

TIARN RIRINUI

"I heard God say 'It's your choice son'. I got up and burnt everything in the fire. Every drug I had. I sat back down again and even though I was still drugged up, I knew I wasn't hallucinating. This light came into the room like a golden glow. I had never seen anything like it. I felt something break off me. Something in my spirit shifted. When I woke up the next morning 12 years of drug addiction was gone! I had no cravings. No withdrawals. Nothing. It was like I had never touched drugs before in my life.  What had held me captive my whole life had been broken".

Tiarn Ririnui says "about a year ago I was heavily addicted to meth and smoking weed. I couldn't eat. Couldn't sleep. I was a complete mess. Sores and scabs all over my body. Losing the plot. I could feel in my mind I was going crazy. I should have learnt from a previous life threatening experience of septicemia [blood poisoning by bacteria]when I had been hospitalised for 3 months. Due to the lifestyle I was living, with cuts and sores, something got into my blood and I ended up with an abscess on my spine. The back pain was excruciating.  When the ambulance took me to hospital I had a convince medical staff I wasn't milking the system neither did I have a simple back strain. I remembered back from school biology days about bacteria and asked what my white blood cell count was? They told me it was really high which convinced them even though I was clearly a full blown addict, an MRI was needed. This revealed a huge abscess in my spinal sack. I was fully septic". [Death is not uncommon] The abscess was inoperable and could be treated only with massive potent doses of antibiotics. "I couldn't walk, I was so weak. Even through the pain and weakness I still managed to get to my truck in the hospital carpark and smoke heaps of weed and meth. You'd think I would have learnt from that. Three months later the abscess returned. They told me I had to come into hospital again to be treated. I knew this meant probably another three months but as I had recently had one year on home detention I felt I couldn't handle being stuck in one place again day after day. The hospital arranged for me to stay at home and organised daily visits from a nurse who would change the PICC line [flexible tube inserted into a peripheral vein]. I was still fully addicted with no sense in my head, chasing that high and selling drugs to support my habits".

"I first gave my life to Jesus when I was 21. I had a great childhood and a very promising career in sports like martial arts. I was black belt in taekwondo and won Australasian titles. I was told at 15, I could make a career in boxing and was invited to join the Anthony Mundine [former Australian professional boxer] training camp. Looking back now I can see God's hand at work as Mundine is Muslim and I believe this was not the path God wanted me on". It was clear to everyone around me from an early age I was anti any authority. "I was a bully. I wanted it to always be my way. From 14 I fully took control and got into the party scene, sex and alcohol. I loved it. I was well known for my fighting. I ran away from home and high school and just got into trouble. I thought I was the toughest, could sleep with the most girls, I was the man? I loved it. Full of ego. But, I realised even then that nothing seemed to satisfy me. I was always chasing the something more". Tiarn reflects "at 19 when a long term toxic relationship ended  I feel into a deep depression. I couldn't shake myself out of it. I tried to numb out the pain with more and more drugs. I thought about suicide but didn't want to put my family through that. I didn't know anything about God and thought Christians were crazy. I thought the Bible was just a way to control people and church was a big money making scheme. Nah! Christians were just dumb or stupid. Weirdos and crazy".

"When I felt there was no hope and all the fight had gone out of me at 21, I decided to give God a go. I said to Him 'if you are actually real I give you one day to show yourself or I'm out'. Almost immediately I had like a spiritual force I couldn't deny the power of, pushing me to go to a church. I found online a 6pm church service and arrived to sit down the back. There was a big banner at the front saying 'its ok, not be ok'. Coincidence or so I thought. I cannot remember what the preacher said but it got to the point where it felt like it was just me in the room and he was speaking directly to me. As an illustration he dunked his hands and arms into this tub of black oil and said 'sometimes in life we get so messy and dirty, but when we try to clean it up ourselves we just make it messier. All we need is for Jesus to come and clean up the mess we make'.  Another man as a representation of Jesus, came up beside him and wiped his arms clean of the black oil. At that moment I had the most unexplainable warmth rush through my body. I heard God say 'I'm here son and it's going to be ok'. I walked away different. The depression and suicidal thoughts were gone. It took me a bit of thinking to admit, God was actually real, He is there. Even though I tried to go to church. I didn't change my lifestyle. I was still living in the world".

I got baptised and felt like I was on fire for God, but I hadn't fully surrendered and two months later the world had dragged me back to the life I loved. "I turned my back on the Lord and at 23 was fully into meth. It robbed me of life. I was a selfish, evil person who cared only for the next hit and the next hit. I wasted everything on meth, completely lost myself and spiraled out of control. I was psycho. I got into serious trouble with the Police and was charged with GBH (grievous bodily harm) I was consumed with meth and this rage in my head. I was a creature, barely existing. This charge carried 14 years imprisonment but my lawyer eventually managed to get me down to home detention and community service. I was stuck then at home with nothing to do but smoke meth and weed".

My family had always been there for me but I wanted nothing to do with them. I blamed them for my rage and my life. They loved me from a distance but made it clear they would not tolerate my psycho behaviour. Following the home detention, I started working again for my parents. Tiarn continues "one day a man my Dad  knew came into work. It turned out he was a Christian and said to my Father he was there for a reason. I walked into the showroom and this guy said, I was the reason. He was 20 years into his Christian walk and heavily involved in addicts recovery. Dad spoke to me about joining his group but I was like no way. I'm not joining some pansy, weak recovery thing where people sit around and chat. No way pfft! That's what weirdos do. I agreed to have lunch with this guy and he said to me 'if you're sick and tired of being sick and tired, come along and see. But if you're not sick and tired of your lifestyle then carry on and smoke all the meth you want and hit me up when you're ready to come. Make a choice'. Eeehh I thought. I wasn't expecting him to say that. So I started going along to this faith based group, and even though I was still methed out, I was infatuated with the word and the Bible. No one even once told me to stop doing all those drugs. I'm so glad they didn't. It would have pushed me away. A few months later I was at home sitting by the fire curing up masses of weed ready for sale.  I heard God say to me 'Son are you ready to give up everything and follow me, or are you going to stay luke warm like you did last time and fall away? Make a choice'. I knew He wanted me to get rid of all of the weed and other drugs, just burn them in the fire. The enemy put another thought into my mind 'this is all worth so much money why don't you sell it and put the money towards good deeds and help other people?' I thought this made sense, and sat down again by the fire, but the Holy Spirit brought a scripture to mind 'he who causes the younger ones to sin, would be better to have a millstone tied around his neck and be cast into a lake'. (Luke 17 v 1) God used that to show me if I sold the weed, the money would be contaminated and that was not what He was asking of me. I heard God say 'Its your choice son'. I got up and burnt everything in the fire. Everything. I sat back down again and even though I was still drugged up, I wasn't hallucinating. This light came into the room like a golden glow. I had never seen anything like it. I felt something break off me. Something in my spirit shifted. When I woke up the next morning 12 years of drug addiction was gone! I had no cravings. No withdrawals. Nothing. It was like I had never touched drugs before in my life.  What had held me captive my whole life had been broken".

Tiarn concludes "has it been easy since then? No. The drug side of things is gone but I struggle daily to renew my mind and my thinking. I've been falling in love with the Lord, serving Him with all I am. Hungry for Him and for more of Him. I've tried to force things with God but realise my struggle is allowing Him to reveal His plan in His time, for my best. Lord you've done all this for me and I'm so grateful, but what now?"