"People pass through seasons of waiting, seasons that demand strength not from the body, but from the soul. Some wait weeks, others months or years. In the waiting, trust is tested and faith refined, and the heart drawn into questions it never expected to ask. One searches for meaning, for reason, for the lesson hidden within the trial – why has this happened and what is God wanting me to learn.
"I had just begun a new role in the banking industry in Nigeria and was placed on a one-year probation period. The position was confirmed on the day that fell between our colourful Nigerian tribal celebration and our more formal Christian wedding where my father walked me down the aisle in his cassock. When we married, we agreed to immediately start a family, so when I tested pregnancy positive, we felt blessed but very aware how difficult this would be in my workplace. When I took maternity leave, I was not paid as I had not completed the required year of service. When I returned to work after the birth of our healthy son, I dusted off my qualification, and took a position in the field I had trained in. God closed one door and opened another.
"Two years later we decided to add to our family. The first time had come so easily, but now month after month ended in disappointment. Why Lord? One year later I was at the hospital seeking answers. Tests revealed nothing out of order, and we were advised simply to continue and wait. Yet because the first pregnancy was caesarian I wondered if something had happened. Why?
"Another 2 years went by praying and seeking answers, but in the middle of one month I felt like finally something may have happened. I waited until the following month to take a test. One Sunday morning we were preparing for church, and I felt pain in my tummy, and decided to rest. Once lying down the pain subsided but that evening the pain was acute and I passed out. My husband thought I had gone and ran outside yelling for help. My neighbour cradled me while Bola drove me to the hospital. The doctor confirmed I was pregnant, but we were sent on to a laboratory to find the cause for the pain. It was closed so we went home, and no tests were done. Two days later I was back in hospital but advised to go on to fertility experts. I was pregnant and we were so happy, but what was going on?
"The fertility expert advised it was an ectopic pregnancy (fertilized egg implants outside of uterus). I prayed against this diagnosis and the bleeding. The following morning as I was prepped for surgery, I told the nurse I needed to use the bathroom. As I stood, I again collapsed. During surgery it was discovered I was 7 weeks pregnant, and my ruptured fallopian tube was removed. I was so sad. Broken. Why Lord?
"I still had a strong desire to be pregnant and consulted experts who spoke of surrogacy and IVF. I was feeling desperate but knew we did not have the money needed. The heavy pressure I put on myself did not compare to the constant pressure from those around us.
"I tried to tell myself, just because I was waiting for something, God still held me in His hands. I knew life would not stop. I was so thankful for the happy healthy child already placed in our arms and tried to discipline my thoughts. Every month I tried to focus on what we did have, to keep believing and trusting in God’s timing.
"A year after the surgery I felt a familiar sensation and although I was afraid to hope and tried to tell myself to wait until the following month, I rushed out and bought pregnancy test sticks and was so excited at the double tick. Yay, we were pregnant. I wanted confirmation, so I returned to the hospital and their test confirmed I was pregnant. However, during the scan, the sonographer excused herself to get a second opinion. They revealed there was no baby. What was going on? I had a positive test. They had a positive test so where was the baby? I went onto the laboratory to get a second opinion and there was no baby. The following day I began bleeding and returned to hospital and they told me a growth had been found. I was referred to a more specialsed lab and when they explained the concerning report, I said no, this was not for me! Instead of the longed-for baby, there was a growth, one that may be cancerous. How had I gone from wanting another healthy baby, to becoming pregnant, to being told it was not a baby at all, but an undetermined growth. My trust in God sank. I questioned God and felt so numb. I didn’t even know what to pray. Even though my core faith was strong, life was happening, and I found it so difficult to process.
"There were so many prayers for me when in December I underwent a third operation to remove the fibrous growth. I declared the next time I came to hospital it would be to give birth to a healthy baby. I was believing God for this outcome. God sent me a praying angel who held my hand and was there day and night to pray with me through my darkness. I chose worship and refused to open the door to the enemy.
"In January I had a strong conviction that I was going to have a baby that year. That meant between January and March I was to get pregnant, but March ended and nothing happened. I continued to praise and worship, and in the following month, it did happen. Hallelujah! I had a dream I was in a boxing ring, fighting. When I woke, I knew I had won – victory! I believe this represented warfare and believed I had to pray and commit it all to the Lord.
"When I was six months pregnant there was blood. I was observed in hospital and discharged. The following month the same thing happened. My first pregnancy had been so easy. and now I felt physically drained even though at home I had help in place to look after my 6-year-old son. I would come home from work and go straight to sleep and the nanny would wake me to eat. I couldn’t even drive to work, and a driver was provided.
"I began my maternity leave ahead of time, finishing work on a Friday. By Monday morning I was bleeding heavily and returned to hospital. The doctor told me I would not be going home until I had given birth to our baby. I was 36 weeks and asked for a scan so the baby’s weight could be assessed. Praise God he was a sound and strong. Still, after all I had been through, I was deeply anxious about being made to wait for a natural birth. I could not bear to risk his safe arrival and asked instead for a cesarean. I was even prepared to discharge myself and find another hospital who would. It was then that I finally told the doctor everything I had been through, including the fibroid surgery they had not known about. I was advised It was not wise for me to move, and I needed to be patient.
"By Christmas Eve the baby was still not engaged although everyone was praying. Not my will, but yours Lord. Later that evening, the doctor came and told me he had organised a medical team and I would be having my baby the next day, Christmas day! I smiled thinking wow, God wanted me to have this special baby on His birthday and in the year, He had shown me. At 37 weeks, I would finally meet my baby boy. Joy and relief filled our hearts as we welcomed the safe arrival of our second son weighing 3.4 kgs (7.5 lbs).
"The doctor later told us that although the reasons for the bleeding and complications were still unclear, I should not consider a future baby, as my body would not sustain it. I knew I was blessed with 2 sons, and that was enough.
"In our tradition we name the baby on the 8th day. While still in hospital, I was organizing the venue, catering, and even preparing my speech. Then to my shock when our baby was examined by the pediatrician, it was found he had severe jaundice [a high level of bilirubin requiring immediate intervention to prevent potential permanent brain damage called kernicterus}. That hospital did not have the specialist team or equipment needed, so we were immediately rushed to another hospital. It felt like one thing after another but I knew, none of this was a surprise to God.
"It was discovered that the baby, and I had incompatible blood types, but under professional care our baby responded well. The plans I made for naming day did not happen, so instead, we named him there in hospital surrounded by close friends and family, praising God for His promises and faithfulness. We named our son TitoloreOluwa (Tito) meaning from our language, God’s perfect gift. His middle name, Oluwasegun means victory. I learned in the season of waiting and surrender, God had given me that victory, and his goodness was enough".
Hebrews 10:23 “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope, without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.”