OSKAR SIGURDSSON
PART 1of 3 parts
“I was born in 1971 on the Westman Islands, a small island community off Iceland’s mainland with about 4,000 residents, rooted in generations of Lutheran tradition. Iceland’s history blends pagan and Christian influences, with missionaries from Norway bringing the gospel around the year 1000. Since then, faith has often been practiced more as cultural tradition than personal conviction, though there were some true believers. Growing up in a loving family with two siblings, I experienced firsthand how church and government intertwine in Iceland, shaping both identity and daily life.
“In 1921 another missionary from Norway brought in the Pentecostal movement of God. The spirit of God began to move, and people started to leave the Lutheran church and join this move of God.
“My Dad and I were musical, and he had many instruments which gave me the opportunity to develop my gift. At the age of 12, I began forming ‘garage bands’ and playing music with others. At 16, I was a full-time musician playing all around the country. I carried a signed letter from my mom giving permission to enter establishments as an underage teenager. My focus was playing with the best, for the best, and I was exposed at a very early age to amazing places but also the secular world. It was around this time; I laid eyes on the girl who would one day be my wife. In a moment, I knew. Young as we were, something in me settled. I would wait for her, no matter how long it took.
“I was always a seeker. I wanted to know the truth. Why am I here? Where did I come from? Where am I going? These 3 questions bothered me. It didn’t make sense to be on earth if there was no reason. I always believed there was something bigger.
“When I was just 6 years old, I had an incredible encounter with God. I’m uncertain if it was a night vision, or a dream, but I found myself in hell. I was led down a corridor by 2 extremely disgusting creatures, one on each side. There was no language; nothing was said. But I knew I was there, and there was no way out. As I walked down the corridor, I could see on both sides' cells, with people in them. They were chained and waiting to have the same experience I was having. They would be taken out of there, seperated from God and carried toward a place of eternal damnation (2 Thessalians 1:9) Everything was red including the walls; it was awful and horrific. The smell and the heat were disgusting and so dirty. Without words it was communicated to me that I could never get out of there. In my mind, I was thinking it cannot end this way. I thought in the dream, there must be a way out of this. When I woke up the dream was so real, I was devastated for days and still remember every detail.
‘One year later, I had another profound experience. The eastern sky over the island rolled back and I looked up into the heavens to see Jesus standing in a brownish cloak, very humble, with 2 angels kneeling at His side. All Jesus did was spread out His hands to me and somehow, I knew for sure this was the answer to the former dream. He looked me in the eye and as I looked up, and I just knew.
“I carried on living my life which wasn’t good, drinking and living for pleasure. I had studied Eastern religions Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Christianity, Islam, and wondered why people devoted their lives to these beliefs. Why does a person leave society to pray or meditate and drink tea all day. Why commit to this? There must be something there, peace, tranquility? I wanted to know the answer. I concluded Christianity was the only religion that offered forgiveness of sins, without me having to do something or earn it.
“I felt dirty and unclean. I acknowledged there were things I had done I was not proud of and were not right which plagued my conscience. I didn’t know then the Holy Spirit was leading me down this path and convicting me of sin. I felt comforted to know Christianity was so simple and offered me forgiveness and a way out.
“As my journey continued, I was sitting at home unable to find work in the recession. Life was miserable with no money and so many questions. I found a Bible and started to read. Something began to happen. Something in the Bible caught my attention. Even though I didn’t understand it, I felt I was answering the questions I didn’t know to ask. My partner was seeing changes in me, and I was having meaningful conversations with people of faith.
“My life was so changed. Friends started asking questions thinking I was weird or strange – or both! Something happened in my life that just changed me. The drinking lifestyle and pubs all seemed so fake, and I didn’t like it. It was not real, and I didn’t want it.
“At 22 as a long-haired muso with a bottle of Jack Daniels beside me, I played my last gig. I rose to my feet and looked over the thousands before me, wondering, Lord, what is this? Suddenly as in the twinkling of an eye, the veil lifted just as scripture says. “Nothing is hidden that will not be revealed” (Luke 8:7) I saw the spiritual battle behind the scenes, the arguing, the infidelity, the schemes of the enemy (Ephesians 6:12) The revelation was unmistakable, and I knew I wanted nothing to do with darkness, only the light that is in Christ.
“You can never cleave if you don’t leave. You have to draw a line and make a decision. I started to go to our little Pentecostal church on my own island. In a small community, it was a very small church with only 3 families and not my family. I turned my back on my fame and lifestyle, friends and all I had known. People thought I was crazy. It was a big deal in my community and even in the church. They knew about me as a musician and wondered why I was there. But I felt a desperate need to be there. I felt so ugly and the other people seemed so pure. I felt I needed to be washed and made clean. I felt a deep Holy Spirit conviction. I needed a Saviour. I broke down, cried, sobbed and asked the Pastor to pray for me. He prayed a simple prayer, and I felt the burden was lifted off me. All the things I felt were gone. I couldn’t wait to be Baptised. My partner of many years didn’t understand, and we grew apart until she also met the Lord, and we joined the church together. I lost all my friends and my family. But later lots of people came to Christ including my sisters and Mom. One after the other. I wanted to be Baptised, but the Pastor said we needed to be married first. So, the day after we were married, we were both Baptised.
“One Saturday morning two years later, we woke early with our firstborn son between us, to pray and read the Bible. Suddenly, it was as though I was caught in the spirit. I was still in my body, yet somehow, I was not there. I felt myself carried to Calvary. I couldn’t see Jesus, but I knew deep in my spirit He was there. I was at His feet, and He towered above me, so much greater, more majestic than I had ever imagined. Nothing on earth can describe what I experienced. It changed me forever. For years afterward I could not speak of God’s presence without breaking down. My wife sat beside me, watching as I wept and wept for days. The love and grace of God so overwhelming I could hardly comprehend it. My prayer life and worship forever changed.
“That experience led to a bold step of obedience. I sold our newly renovated home, left my job and travelled to America to study in a church ‘organisation’ that resonated with my spirit. My heart cried out, even if it costs me everything, I want this word. It was the same deep yearning I had carried since childhood. In due course we returned to Iceland to serve as youth pastors but then the Lord called us to Romania to shepherd a church as senior pastors for five years.
OSKAR PART 2
“My wife and I were called to Romania through the International ‘organisation’ I had trained with in America. It was a completely new experience for us, and we fell in love with the people and country almost immediately. Although Romania had emerged from its communist past, the influence of those years was still evident in the culture, daily life and in ways of thinking that were different from what we had known.
“It took time for us to understand both the people and the language. At that stage I spoke Icelandic and had only limited English, but I committed myself to learning. Communication on everyday matters was one thing, communicating theology another level entirely, as it required understanding precise language and specific terminology. I studied all day for several years and the first thing I did was read through the King James Bible with the these and thous. This was the translation the ‘organisation’ used, so I learned to memorise scriptures and then speak using a translator. Our eldest son at 4 years of age, quickly became fluent in Romanian.
“We Pastored, but the church could not be registered as a church and had to operate under the umbrella of relief work. Strict guidelines were in place under both their laws and our USA-based ‘organisation’. Supplies were sent several times a year from overseas – clothes, shoes and sometimes wheelchairs and health aides. Sending food was not permitted. There was great poverty. Nobody in the church had a car, many did not have running water. Even the road where we lived was mud and cows would pass by the windows in the morning. Because of the poverty there was so much corruption, and officials would show up randomly looking for any reason to fine us. Big fines, although it was more a threat. Survival skills really. Getting the supplies into the country through the border was always a major task, with every hand wanting something along the way. I had to learn to pay a little along the way to keep myself, my family and church safe. I wanted to change the culture overnight but although at first this got me into some trouble, I learnt to stop resisting. We would make cassette recordings of the church teachings and once a month stand in line at the Post office to send these onto eager followers. I never seemed to get to the front of the line and speak with the teller until I started to take chocolates or coffee or something so I would get service. The hospital was the same. Unless you paid the Doctors you did not receive medical care. It was frustrating and I found it difficult to accept. I could see how this thinking had infiltrated the church. The USA ‘organisation’ had money and people felt they should have access to it. It was not considered stealing, rather because the church had so much, they believed they were entitled to take it.
“They were good hardworking people. Loyal to the core. We had no preparation when we were thrown into deep waters by our ‘organisation’. We had never pastored a church before, had a young family, and didn’t speak English. There was a very strongly established culture within this ‘organisation’, a clear and precise model. How to worship, preach, pray and what to sing were all parts of this. There was a manual. We walked into something already established globally. It was like McDonalds – wherever you go in the world it’s the same. Same menu, same colours. An intentional culture. It was a strong brand and there was security in that. However, we learned there was a fine line between representing the ‘organisation’ and recognizing the model did not always account for the realities of the country we were serving in.
“We had such amazing experiences, and the ’organisation’ took so well care of us. They trusted us with finances and the congregation. They provided a house and were generous with assets and the needs of the church. As we renovated their properties, I took videos to show how their money was being used. I was in a powerful position and entrusted with so much. The enemy can tempt you and I wanted to ensure everything was recorded and sent back to them so they could have regular access to what was being done and how their money was spent.
“I was all in and believed in their doctrine and ideology. We even followed the rules of how to dress. My wife wore a white skirt every Sunday, never cut her hair, never wore makeup, or jewellery. I wore a suit, white shirt and tie, it took holiness to another level, and we loved it. It grounded us in many ways in Christ.
“After 2-3 years I struggled with trying to build an American model in an Eastern Europe communist country. These two are diametrically opposed, it’s a different way of thinking. You cannot expect people to think like Americans when they live in Romania. They have never been there, nor will they have the opportunity to go there. We would worship using American gospel songs and style music, but traditional Romanian Christian music is so different, they play songs in minor keys, and they love poetry. I started to open the door to this change and allow the worshippers to express themselves in their own natural way. The first day a poem was read, the congregation was in tears. There was a connection. I felt what we were doing could be seen as wrong within the ‘organisation’s’ model but applying that did not allow us to truly understand the hearts of the people. Not in opposition to the ‘organisation’, but out of love for the people and their country we introduced more and more of their traditions. The people loved it, and we saw them express themselves and the church grew.
“We visited many towns wrecked by communism. People left without hope or proper homes or work. It was devastating to see. We took supplies to those villages and towns and ministered to them. When we showed up, in their eyes, it was like an angel had come to town and we would pray, teach and disciple crowds of people pressing in to hear the word of God. We loved the small villages and often worship would last for hours,
“A lot happens in 5 years. I was shot at with a shotgun. I chased thieves and got into a fight with them, they could have killed me, but I was protected. There was betrayal through the government system, and 2 more blessed babies arrived to complete our family of 5. Once a year we would go to America for their conference (all paid for) and felt they took so well care of us.
“As young people in ministry it was an incredible experience. We were supposed to believe certain things, but it’s not until you go through things you find out, what you really believe. I had to sift through the sand to find the rock. In the Bible, King David says ‘it is good for me to be afflicted’ (Psalm 119:71) It was not nice, but necessary.
“After 5 years it was a rule that missionaries in the ‘organisation’ would take a sabbatical. We were exhausted and sent for a one-year break at home in Iceland, with the expectation of returning to Romania.
“Head office suggested I was to work in the ‘organisation’s’ international ministry. I was concerned about Romania and the people we loved who were awaiting our return. Politics, betrayal and power struggles made the crossfire ugly. I was called into a meeting with the powerful leaders in the’ organisation’, who told me where I would be sent next. I was to return from the meeting in the USA to Iceland with my wife, and then I was to go on to Romania for two weeks, only me, not my wife, and pack up our things.
“Shocked. I waited once back in Iceland, to hear more but heard nothing. There was no further communication from the ‘organisation’.
“As directed, I flew alone to Romania to pack up our belongings, say goodbye and try to explain a situation I did not understand myself. I was told I must not associate with the people because I had too much influence with them. The ‘organisation’ knew the people loved us but wanted them to follow the ‘organisation’ model, not their Pastors. The interim Pastor told me the people were confused and desperate to speak with me. He said they were deeply distressed and had even said, if they were not allowed to talk to me, they would storm through the building to my room. We had invested so much and still believed we would be coming back to lead the church. My heart was broken for the people, and I was in total disarray. Although we believed we would return, in my heart I sensed this may not be the truth.
“Utterly heartbroken and disillusioned, we questioned all we had taught our congregation. I felt a deep responsibility for my part in teaching and endorsing the ‘organisation’ model. Against the doctrine we had been trained to follow, we had become too involved with the people, the very people we loved.
“Over the next 7 years, I refused to give in and paid my own way from Iceland to USA, to attend the annual conferences still seeking answers. I tried to focus only on the truth, where are you, Lord? I found even as I read His word, I was reading it through the ‘organisation’s’ lens.
“Although painful, God removed the glasses, and the Holy Spirit revealed the true foundation of His word. I fell at His feet to relearn His Word, letting Him gently separate His truth from the interpretations I had learned to live by”.
Part 3 of 3 parts
“Beside the pool of Bethesda in John 5 1-15, many waited to be healed. Jesus singled out one man and asked a simple question. “Do you want to be made whole?” It sounded like an easy question. When that question was asked of me, I realised I didn’t know how to answer. I wanted healing but I wasn’t sure I was ready to stand, pick up what I had been lying on, and walk.
“For 7 long years back in Iceland, I wondered what I was to learn from the disturbing outcome following our years in Romania. We were raising our family, renovating a house, running a business, my wife studied at university, and we ran a small home group. The Lord blessed us even though it was a very difficult time. The answers could not be found in people or relationships, no matter how well-meaning others were. When everything was stripped away, I found myself compelled to seek the Lord in a way I had never done before. I reflected on Bible stories where others had asked where God was and why had this happened. I came to understand if we are humble and sincere we will find Him and rejoice in the trials. “Search me oh God and know my heart”. I know what they did, but what are you asking of me? I felt betrayed, stabbed in the back, excluded, ex-communicated – it wasn’t what happened it was the why! I knew if I couldn’t get to the why, I would get stuck in the what. As I kept seeking Him, I could see God could use even this for my good and His glory. It wasn’t nice, but it was necessary. My character began to change. God wasn’t building my gifting; He was refining my character, shaping my integrity.
“We never wanted to go into ministry again. We were never going to move anywhere ever again! But God was shaping and teaching us for what lay ahead. I was challenged with forgiving those who hurt me. God waited to help. He waited for me to come into agreement with what He was doing in me.
“I had a dream about a man who was vice president of the ‘organisation’. I did not know him personally but in the dream, I was sitting in a loft under a roof. A dim empty room except for this guy sitting. I stood up and walked across the dusty wooden floor to him. He started to repair my old worn-out work boots. He began to sew and weave and repair them. I looked at his boots and saw they were also worn but didn’t have holes like mine. No words were said but his work was very detailed and well done. His boots were better quality than mine. The dream ended, but I knew God was going to use him to restore our ministry.
“One year later, this man I had dreamt of, came to Iceland to visit a church within the ‘organisation’. In the middle of worship, he walked over, knelt beside me, and asked if he could pray. He set up a meeting and said he wanted to investigate what happened to us - why we were thrown out and ex-communicated. He promised when he returned to the States he would look into everything, talk to those involved, and get to the truth.
“He could find nothing. A year later he phoned and asked if we would consider Pastoring a church in Europe that had been through a painful split. He believed we were the right people for that assignment. In 2013 we moved to the Faroe Islands, a small group of islands in the North Atlantic, and planted a new church in a small community, staying until a permanent Pastor was in place.
“In our hearts we had stepped away from the ‘organisation’ as we no longer believed in its methods. We were not against them nor rebelled, but in our hearts, we knew we could no longer align with a model that did not feel genuine to us. The 20-year chapter was over, and once back in Iceland, we made the very difficult decision to send in our resignation letter. We hadn’t figured it all out and it was so hard because of the many deep relationships we had formed all over the world, friends who had shared the journey and wonderful memories. It was tempting to stay in the comfort zone as the ‘organisation’ always took really good care of us financially, but we had to be true to what we believed the Lord wanted for us. In the uncertainty, we had to trust Him. Our relationship was with God, not the ministry.
“After a significant split within the ‘organisation’, which saw the vice-president and many others leave, a great number of people were left deeply hurt and disillusioned. Out of this need, a new prayer based, God-centered church emerged as a place for healing, hope and restoration. We were invited as a family to move to the States asap and be part of pastoring this new church. We believed God called us to do this and in faith, believed the many promises made, packed up our lives in Iceland, and in 2015 moved to the States. The promises of housing, Visas, salaries, leadership and teaching roles never eventuated. We stayed in a dreary motel until friends took us in and offered our family of 5 the basement of their home. A few days turned into 3 long months of increasing uncertainty. When one door after another closed, we returned to Iceland feeling disillusioned and worn, unsure how to explain to our kids, family and friends what we did not yet understand ourselves. It marked a profound low point in our journey.
“We cried out to the Lord but heard nothing. One night Rosalind (my wife) couldn’t sleep and got on her knees to pray. She said she felt like she was ‘wrestling’ with the Lord. She said it was like the scripture, “I am not going to let you go until you bless me.” In the early hours of the morning, she described the Lord coming into the room, gently taking her face, turning it towards a world map on the wall. His finger pointed to New Zealand. Immediately peace and relief came over her and she woke me up to share this vision. When she mentioned New Zealand, I had to then reveal that some weeks before I had been in a conversation with the ex-vice president, who gave me a prophetic word. He saw 2 doors open for us, one in New Zealand. I had not mentioned this, knowing we had no desire to move ever again, and my wife’s health was very fragile. I was in protection mode not just for me but my whole family. In that place it felt safe, and I hadn’t yet been able to see beyond it.
” We heard there was a small remnant group in Tauranga struggling after the disassociation from the original ‘organisation’. Our names came up and the call was made. First it was suggested, I was to go alone to New Zealand for 5-6 weeks. I felt strongly, if I was to go, we were to all go as a family. We needed a miracle and clear direction.
“We were still living in small area in my parents’ home. We could find no place to rent and did not have secure jobs. How would we raise the air fares and where would we live? Within 2 weeks all the funds came in, a furnished house was offered in Tauranga, plus a car! Only God! Six weeks later we boarded the plane to New Zealand.
“As soon as we arrived in New Zealand we stepped into a heavy spiritually oppressive atmosphere. From the moment my feet touched the ground, I felt a sense of opposition and resistance. The only financial support we had was from a man in Iceland, and not long after we arrived, we received word he had died unexpectedly. We were on a 3-month tourist visa, and there were ongoing tensions within the church who had sponsored us. We had been dragged into something we had no part of, we became a problem for them, and they wanted us to leave. We were left asking, “Why have you brought us here Lord?
“God is faithful and as we sought Him, He began opening doors. To our surprise a 2-year working visa was given to us just 5 days after application. God brought people in our way with money and food for our family. People believed in us. It was a faith journey. Our daughter, on her student visa, took on an extended paper route (650 houses) the whole family got involved so we could feed ourselves with her pocket money! 5 days a week for 3 years we did this menial delivery work.
“We were here for a reason and knowing God had brought us here, gave us the strength each day to face a hostile environment we had never experienced before. New Zealand carried such a strong prophetic sense. Random people would show up in town, in a café, at church giving us a word of encouragement from the Lord. These people had no idea the value of what the Lord had given them.
“We decided to hold a memorial service for the dear friend in Iceland who had promised to financially support us. We knew he had some friends in Tauranga, so we wanted to honour him. To our surprise the service was packed. It was clear he had been deeply loved throughout his 7 years here.
“An older man introduced himself, telling me he had not known our friend personally, but came because he had been kind to his mother. He gave me his card and asked me to contact him.
“We talked of booking our flights home until that very next Sunday a Māori woman came to us with a powerful prophetic word. “Do not look at what is on top of the iceberg, look at what is underneath”. (See testimony from Raewynne). We were so moved. We knew we were to stay.
“A few weeks later I met up with the man from the funeral. He was Pastoring a small church and looking for ways to ease into retirement. He invited me to come alongside him as he made this transition.
“I agreed and from there, the group began to grow with Wednesday morning prayer meetings weeping before the Lord. We never planned to start a church, we thought we were coming to simply strengthen what was already here. Gradually it became clear God had used this entire journey to bring us into the country, for something we had not expected. Three groups eventually merged, with a focus to restore, learn and worship God.
“About six months into our time in New Zealand, we discovered the group who originally invited us, involved lawyers in an attempt to find a way to get us out of the country. Because they had sponsored our visa, they were legally responsible for paying us for the 2 years and did not want this. It became ugly and complicated. We decided not to fight, and we would, as scripture says, shake the dust off our feet, and leave. They were obligated to pay our fares back to Iceland. If God wanted us to stay, we would need a miracle within the remaining 4 weeks of our contract. The stress was horrible. The other two merged groups applied to immigration to take over our contract and our miracle came. Approval was given.
“God had spoken. We felt we were to stay. I was like the man beside the pool at Bethesda to whom Jesus asked, do you want to be whole? It was not a simple question. It required an answer. Through every stripping away and every unexpected door opening, I realised God had been leading me toward that answer all along. I had learnt to say YES I do”.