LIVEE
"In Te Araroa (gateway to historic East Cape light house and most easterly point on mainland New Zealand) I grew up in a Christian home with my 4 siblings. I was home schooled, knew about the Lord and we attended church, but it was for me more because that is what we did, rather than out of any desire to follow Christ.
"I lost my way as a teenager and although I called myself a Christian, I wasn’t praying or in the word. Instead, I became lost in the world. I finished schooling in college and delved into the wrong things. Drinking, drugs and sleeping around were the norm with me and my group of friends. I was searching for something but didn’t know what it was I was missing. I tried to find love in all the wrong places and filled the gap with worldly things.
""Aged 18, I moved to Australia and through the partying and drugs, got into some rough things. Hanging around the wrong crowd. I got into a domestic violence relationship where there was some physical abuse, but mostly mental and emotional abuse. Life was such a struggle as I was constantly mistreated, manipulated and controlled. Friends and workmates tried to protect me from constant harassment and without provocation, he would accuse me of any detail he could think of. At one point my Mum offered to come and get me, rescue me and take me home to New Zealand and I agreed. I knew my situation was far from healthy and at times wondered what the outcome would be.
"Just before I returned with Mum, my friend took a pregnancy test and laughingly I agreed to use the spare one. Her test was negative, but to my shock, my test was positive.
"So, moving back to New Zealand following a traumatic time in my life and then dealing with the realisation that not only was I pregnant, but I was also to have a baby to the man I was trying to escape.
"I hung onto the belief that he would change and so I told him about the baby, and he pursued me to New Zealand. I found out I was pregnant with twins.
"One evening when the twin girls were about 3 months old, we sat drinking. During that drinking session something shifted, he was out of control and tried to strangle me. I wondered how I possibly could have survived this drawn-out brutal attack and realised something or someone was protecting me. There was no other explanation for survival other than something or someone restrained him and protected me. I didn’t think it was the Lord, but I knew I was only alive because in those final moments, my life was spared.
"The Police were involved, and I brought charges against him. We split up and Court proceedings followed. I realised as hard as it was, the positive in it was, due to the charges against him, I could keep my girls safe from him.
"Around that same time Mum was listening to prophets and teachings about Jesus and began sharing bits with me. I wasn’t interested as my life centered around new age things – crystal healing, reiki, tarot cards and other stuff. Mum would come into my house and anoint things around the house and pray.
"I was deep into the world, addicted to weed and living a life of darkness. I entered a same sex relationship and slid completely off the rails. Always searching for something, for meaning to my life, and looking for love. I wanted to break the unhealthy cycles but was powerless on my own.
"The little bits Mum told me about the Lord opened my eyes to a Jesus I knew nothing about. I thought wow, I never knew Christianity was like this or that Jesus had powers and revelations I never knew He had. Could this actually be true? Reiki was spiritual but this was so different and had me questioning the power of God and the spiritual realm. I started listening to Mum’s word and searching.
" I lay in the bath one evening, listening to Robin D. Bullock a born-again Christian who operates heavily in the prophetic realm. He said ‘you can’t be lukewarm. You cannot be lukewarm’. I felt such a tug in my spirit. I cried out Lord, can I still do these things and also give my heart to you? There was such a tug of war going on inside of me. I decided it was time to look seriously and go ask my Mum some questions.
"I got up the next morning, went to her house and sat on the deck. As I began asking her my questions, it was like a veil was torn. I was like - I get it. I understand this now. I can see it. I cannot describe it any other way than the veil was torn.
"I raced home and burned all my tarot cards and that week got rid of all my beautiful crystals. That same afternoon I made the decision to follow Jesus and let him in and asked Him to turn my life around. Every question I had the Lord answered in amazing ways. He would bring people I had never met to the house with exactly the right word to questions I had only asked the Lord about. Mum and I would chat about something, and the explanation would come through a sermon online or a Bible reading. I waited for the right time, and the Lord led me to Baptism. My life was transformed by God.
"The veil was torn, and I could at last recognise the counterfeit, also my long addiction to weed just disappeared. Vaping came next after hearing a sermon about laying it down at the altar. Mum had bought me a prayer book, and I found strength in that, as once before I had tried to quit in my own strength. Depression and anxiety were gone. The lot, all gone. Joy, freedom and excitement came from knowing the Lord.
"I could see how God protected me during all those dark times in my life. I was alive because He guarded me. The reality of the stalking, his gang associations and antisocial behaviour hit me, but with it came the realisation of God’s preservation. I have learned God is enough and I don’t need the worldly things. Once I searched to be loved, and that need has now been more than satisfied through Him. I was in darkness and oppressed, and the beauty and light of the Lord is blossoming though me.
"People see me now as a brand-new person and completely new spirit. I feel great relief having made the decision to fully forgive him. I can see now the demonic forces controlling his life and pray in God’s timing the veil will also be lifted from him.
"I praise God for His timing to give my girls a foundation in Him. They love the Lord and together we often pray for their dad.
"Before I gave my heart to the Lord, and on the wrong side of healing, I had a dream where there was someone beside me in bed. I couldn’t see the demon, but I knew he was there. The person next to me was petrified and couldn’t stop their fear. In the dream, I saw that person sucked up in smoke and gone. The demon grabbed my foot and ankles. Petrified, I called out in my dream ‘Jesus Christ’ and the demon let my feet go. I believe in that dream, God showed me I was not going to get protection from the purple flame (a metaphysical tool used for spiritual purification, transformation and healing) or crystals, it was only when I called on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Once I believed the father of lies and deception, who twisted scripture and justified my sinful lifestyle that only produced pain, fear and confusion. Now I live in light, at peace, free, and excited to wake up each morning to discover more of the truth of who God is. I am loved by God".
Psalm 91: 4 “He will cover you with His wings. His faithful promises are your armour and protection.”