AIMEE
“I grew up with both parents and 3 older brothers believing in Jesus and God. I never doubted God and Jesus existed, but my family didn’t go to church, read the Bible or talk about what it meant to have a personal relationship with Him.
"I thought I understood what it meant to be a Christian, but my understanding was superficial. I believed God created everything and He was real, and it was good to live according to His ways. Yet my life was still my own and it was all up to me to make the best of it. I did not understand how the grace of God would help and I relied on my own decision making and judgement of what was right and wrong.
"Looking back, I can see how self-centred my perspective was. Although I believed in God, I lived independently of Him. I had little understanding of His grace and how that plays out in life, I don’t think I understood my need for His grace. I didn't realise that true Christianity wasn't just believing that God exists—it was surrendering my life to Him and allowing Him to transform me from the inside out.
"As a teenager I hung out with the wrong people and did not live like a Christian. I didn’t have a grasp/revelation of how important it is to God to live according to how he says and the grace that is available for us to do that, and so I was blind to how bad I was living and how this was affecting me. Decisions I made outside the word of God did not lead to anything good, just anxiety, sadness and darkness. I could see so much destruction in relationships and what drinking, and drugs can do. I was never heavily involved in that lifestyle myself. In fact, among my friends I was often known as the "grandma" of the group because I tended to be more cautious than others.
"In my twenties, after a painful relationship breakup, my mother and I prayed together. It was my belief in God that had led me to end the relationship because I knew it wasn't what God wanted for me. From then on, I wanted to follow God.
"Looking back, I realise I had never truly committed my life to Him. I thought that because I believed in Jesus, I would go to heaven. My faith was genuine but very superficial. Although I was Baptised, I still lived by my own understanding, making my own decisions rather than fully surrendering my life to Christ.
"I tried going to church a few times and felt so uncomfortable. I thought all the joyful people were just fake and it must be so exhausting pretending to be happy all the time. I thought they were not my kind of people, so once again I allowed the wrong crowd to pull me away.
I continued living in the world but there were many little things that brought me back to God. A Christian lady at my work told me she had a dream that I could not stay on the fence. She gave me the verse in Revelations 3:15 about being neither hot nor cold.
"I also had Christian flat mates who gave me such a contrast with the darkness in my world. I felt a heaviness I couldn’t escape from.
God took me on a journey. He needed to burn some things off me and I was on a rollercoaster. He began revealing things in my heart I had been unaware of. Where my focus was, and why I had fears and anxiety.
"In my late twenties, I experienced a devastating autoimmune attack that affected my nerves, spine, joints, and stomach. Overnight, the body I had always trusted seemed to turn against me. Having enjoyed perfect health until then, I was completely unprepared for the physical suffering that followed.
"I was unable to sleep and became deeply distressed as one symptom after another emerged. My body seemed to be failing me, yet despite medical consultations, the doctors were unable to identify a solution or provide the relief I so desperately needed. I felt frightened, exhausted, and increasingly overwhelmed as I watched my health deteriorate.
"I felt I had hit rock bottom. I felt like everything in my life had gone wrong. I had tried so hard to be a good friend, do the right thing, study at university, get the right job. I felt I had failed. I felt like the auto immune attack was all my fault and I wondered if my faith would ever be strong enough to follow God.
"I was at a point of desperation and the fear felt demonic. I believed God could heal but didn’t think He would heal me, because I was such a bad person and had screwed up so many things in my life.
"God in His graciousness took me on a journey of love. He revealed to me His grace, and what Jesus really did on the cross. God changed my focus to reading books with testimonies of healing and people of faith who lived these long lives of ministry. This changed my whole understanding of God and belief in Him – God wanted me to be healed. He paid for me to be healed. In my desperation, I reached out to God, and He answered me.
I learnt so much about the grace of God that is available to the whole body of Christ. I recognised I could depend on Him, seek and cling to Him for my faith to believe that by His stripes I am healed.
"It says in the Bible to speak it out – faith comes through hearing and hearing from the word of God. The word is spirit and life, so I believed it was spiritual and powerful. I could speak to my own body with authority. It wasn’t an overnight healing, but I noticed parts of my body getting better. The insomnia of 5 years, improved. I had such a revelation – Jesus took all that for me. All that pain and torment, He took on Himself for me.
Because of that revelation of love and grace, I felt such a willingness to give my life to God. I wanted to know more about Him. I wanted to hear His voice and know His will for my life. I wanted to be His vessel.
"A friend had given me a book about Elisabeth Elliot a missionary in Latin America doing Bible translation. When the book had been given to me, I thought I don’t want to be a missionary and put it aside for over a year. I was quite snobby about it. After going through all the health stuff and seeking God, I picked up the book, read it and thought it was amazing and so incredible. It expanded my mind to the whole world and Gods’ will for the world. The seed was planted.
"It was suggested I go do a DTS course (Discipleship Training School) and although I wasn’t happy about that at that time, God continued to bring so many people across my path that pointed to this. I felt like God cornered me in a loving way and reminded me when I was in University I was fascinated with the Spanish language and took a minor in it. The desire and excitement arose again, and I felt drawn to Mexico.
Eventually I took a step of faith and took a DTS course in Mexico. It came as some surprise how interested God was in my life. Doors I tried to open, He closed – firmly. I was still learning how to hear His voice and completely surrender, but He had a plan and knew me better that I knew myself.
I had just turned 30 when I went to Mexico. It felt like a different world. The buildings, the terrain, the people, the culture and their many dialects and religions.
"At mission school, I learned so much about the character and heart of God—why He created us, what He desires for the world, and how we each have a part to play in His purposes. As I grew closer to Him, His desires became my desires. God opened my eyes to His mission, and I saw it as an eternal treasure. I realised there is so much more happening than we can see, and I knew this was something I needed to understand and embrace.
In the Mexican people I saw so much beauty, warmth, passion and full of life and colour. Many have such humble hearts. They are very spiritual people and from the ancient Mayan days have held onto many spiritual practices. Intertwined through Catholicism is a strong thread of witchcraft.
"In contrast there is poverty, lawlessness, drug addiction, fatherlessness, violence – two extremes. The Bible speaks about the spirit of light and darkness, and it was physically evident. Despite this, God is moving through His church and fighting this battle. He backs their every step of faith".
Part 2 posted next Wednesday